Why are tantrums a good thing....at work...

The moment someone says 'tantrum', the stereotypical image of a child lying flat with their legs moving manically in the air, wailing at the top of their voice comes to mind. Yes, it does elicit all sorts of reactions from observers including scorn, sympathy, disdain, annoyance, apathy, and so on. I, on the other hand believe, it is a G O O D thing! Now now...hear me out! When someone has a tantrum, it is usually because they are not getting their way. If I take kids as an example, the tantrums come on when children are hungry, sleepy, bored, out of their comfort zone or unable to express themselves. Essentially, it is an indication that they need your attention, ... I'd much rather know that there is an issue and deal with it by finding a fitting solution rather than letting it silently fester. Even at work, it is much better that your employees, colleagues or teams vent out their frustrations rather than let it build up. That's why I say, tantrums are a good thing. In this blog, I will explain common causes for tantrums and some simple strategies to deal with them!

So why is it a good thing at work? Because, tantrums in any form and by anyone in any degree is an indication that there is a problem that needs solving. I think long term grievances can be avoided if a manager shows sensitivity to their employees' tantrums. A little bit of generalisation, but the most common reasons for tantrums at work are lack of recognition of people's work, personal and emotional issues, lack of challenges in the role, unable to cope with workload/ changes/ people, lack of a channel to express themselves and not getting their way. What can you do as a manager in such a situation? 

There are just two choices - to ignore it or to address it! In my opinion, ignoring doesn't work. If it looks like it is working, I can almost guarantee that it is a sign that another problem is building up, which may be greater than the issue that caused the tantrums in the first place. So, the sensible approach would be to address it. However, in order to address it, the first step has to be to investigate it to find out what has caused the tantrum. Once the cause of the tantrum is found, the next stage is the intervention. It is not as easy as it sounds as the level and depth of the intervention needed to resolve the issue can vary significantly. There is a trial and error process in finding the optimal solution. Lastly, if the solution works, then you will need to improve the communication channels so that the problem can come to light before it reaches the tantrum stage again. Let's look at each one of these in detail.

Give attention for successful investigation 
This is the most important stage in dealing with tantrums. The main aim of the investigation stage is to find out what has caused the tantrum. Identifying the problem will help determine how to solve it. If we take kids as an example, as soon as the tantrums come on, the good parents give attention to their children and identify what the problem is. The fact that a child has resorted to the final stage of tantrums means that their subtle indications of problems along the way haven't been noticed or addressed. Similarly at work, the fact that an employee has had to reach the stage of professional tantrums means that their subtle nuances have gone unnoticed. A good manager has to communicate with their subordinates to give them the time and attention to find out what has happened or caused the grievance. 

Isolate problems and make interventions
Once the cause for the tantrums is found, the problem has to be isolated from all the other issues and the most appropriate intervention has to be made. For example, the child having a tantrum could be in a bad mood, easily bored, disinterested in playing with things around them and hence looking for and getting into trouble. While boredom maybe a cause for the mischief, it could also be low blood sugar levels due to hunger. The appropriate intervention in this case wouldn't be to find more engaging play things but rather to feed the child. Similarly, as an example from work, one of my team members often complained about heavy workload and yet, they were still eager to take on more projects. Further and deeper conversations revealed that the reason for excessive workload was a lot of duplication of work. While the employee had the capacity and was looking to learn new things from different projects, the processes needed proper streamlining so that there wasn't a duplication. 
The right intervention can only be made when the right problem is identified and isolated.

Improve communications
Once an intervention has been made, the success of it has to be monitored and assessed. This means proper communication, two ways and based on active listening. Most theories on communication will tell you the importance of non-verbal communication. This is the key to dealing with tantrums even before they arise. If you have open and honest communication channels based on empathy, trust and mutual respect, then in most cases the flow of information is stronger, transparent and free. When that is the case, people feel appreciated, cared for and are less likely to use tantrums as a way of getting attention and their way. They are more likely to be flexible and amicable to finding a mutually beneficial solution.


So there you go... That's my blog on why tantrums are a good thing and how a good manager can make the appropriate interventions to deal with them. If you would like to know more about other examples of how kids can teach you to work out effective solutions to management problems, then follow my blog School of Mumagement.

Comments

  1. Excellent! I really share your opinion about the illusion that ignoring tantrums will make them disappear. That said, if I think about my children, part of me helping resolve tantrums is by educating on what behaviour is across the line (no, I won't buy you everything in the shop because this would be unreasonable expectations and you have to learn that even with a tantrum, this will remain an unreasonable expectation, sorry. Yes you are having a tantrum, I understand why, but you will have to accept that on this one the only resolution is that you have to change your expectations (or in the professional context, we have to agree to disagree and there will be consequences...)). That said, I think this is only a complementary approach that doesn't contradict what you have said as being the suitable resolution process in many cases.

    Emmanuelle

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